A Clash Of Wills

How often have we prayed: "Our father who art in heaven...thy will be done..." We watched the ultimate expression of Jesus' own struggle as he sweat blood in Gethsemane's garden and in his anguish cries out: "Father, if it be possible, let this chalice pass from me; yet not my will, but yours, be done."

We know the anguish ourselves to varying degrees: the sudden death of a loved one, a crippling accident, a devastating illness, an unplanned pregnancy. It is not what we want. We have heard (a struggle to accept!) that for those who love God "all things work together unto good." But deep within, something cries: "No! It is not what I want. My will be done." We usually don't have the audacity to say this outright to God; but we certainly don't like what God seems to be saying, doing, or allowing to happen. And we don't want to say "Thy will be done."

If only we could realize how much we are loved. Then we could fairly easily believe that for those who love God all things do work together unto good. If only we had the humility to realize that the all-knowing God of Infinite Love does always understand what is best for us. God does not want bad things to happen, but God has given us freedom and respects the freedom we have. So God does allow bad things to happen to good people. At the same time God knows that the power of Divine Love is far greater than any evil. The all-encompassing compassion of Divine Mercy is infinitely greater than any fault, stronger than any negativity brought on by our human condition.

At times we may need to go to a Gethsemane place with Jesus to do battle with this clash of wills: "If possible, let this pass; yet not my will but yours be done." Many times in our lives we glibly pray "Thy will be done." Yet that deep transformation of our all-too-human spirit needs these Gethsemane moments (hours or days or even weeks of anguish) before our "My will be done" is replaced with the communion of self-giving love expressed so well in Jesus' prayer: "Thy will be done."

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